wow. 738 days of xanga. how does "x" get pronounced z? x has been cheated out of its own sound. same with c and k.

tissues and cough drops. thats what my day has consisted of. i cant quite tell if its just bad allergies or if its a cold. i dont have a fever, and ive been feeling like this for awhile, just not so extreme, so im going to assume allergies, but im going to stop by the doctor on monday to be sure, then get either allergy or cold medicine. i didnt pay 80 bucks to the student health center for nothing!

the cardinals won again, it was a very exciting game, too. my good little underdogs

so im caught between two worlds... i have no idea where to go to college... no clue.. why does life have to be so darn confusing.. how am i going to know.. 100 percent.. why is this so difficult.. i got a full ride to uncc.. *yay.. except not*... so if i decide to go there i can live at home and help the church for awhile... or uh forever.. and mooch off of my parents.. and i got in to state, i dont hear from their financial aid office until i get my tax return... a big whopping 48 dollars.. anyway even if i got moola to go there.. im not sure that state is the school for me.. it didnt feel right.. and neither did uncc.. i'll be around lsu soon too.. so we'll see how that feels, and i find out ab financial aid from them "in the first week of april" i dont believe deadlines lol but just becuase i get financial aid doesnt mean i know that im going anywhere (i.e. uncc)... i just dont know.. its like the world is whizzing around me and im just sitting there going "hmmmm" with my finger on my chin.. i cant believe im finally here.. yea the two worlds thing.. its like both places are "home" now.. and i dont like that.. makes it all the more confusing. so my choice is state or lsu... and state is not where im pulling.. but niether is lsu.. i'll wait for spring testing and decide if i like it i guess..  or just run away and be a bum in oh i dont know.. nyc or hollywood.. thats the life *yea .. * lol gosh!! i do not like the indecisiveness in me.. grrrr.... i just want to know 100 percent for sure, and i dont... yet.. i know God will reveal in his timing.. alright off i go

so.. why dont i feel like i can talk to people? ugh i wish i was able to be more open, there is something i want to talk aboutbut i dont feel comfortable posting it on the internet, or even talking to a person about it... which is why im going to pray and write a little.. have a wonderful night!! mwah